We moved to France from the US and here are the five emotional hurdles we faced

Josette and Charles Gleason, both 66, moved from near Washington DC to Fréjus (Var) in the south of France in 2024. 

The country appealed because of Josette’s French heritage, and the couple had visited many times.

Today, they are board members of the American Club of the Riviera and are regularly asked for advice by people keen to move.

Homesickness 

Homesickness is a common feeling for many people who move abroad, no matter how sure they are about their decision.

“We got on a plane to come here and I was in tears,” said Josette. “We made the decision that we weren’t coming back, we weren’t going to have two homes. It’s a big thing to leave your country.”

The day they left the US was “very emotional”, she said. 

“While I love France, part of me is still American, so the thought of actually packing up and selling two-thirds of our worldly possessions and our home after 25 years was a very big thing for me.” 

One way she coped was taking the advice of a friend who told her to write down her emotions. 

She also brought key sentimental items to create a sense of home.

“I brought personal items with me that I valued and treasured. We made the decision to spend the money to bring them here because I now have an anchor; I have something that I know is mine and that really helps me get through the rest of it.”

Bureaucracy 

One hurdle many people in France can empathise with was dealing with a new and sometimes confusing bureaucracy. 

A lack of consistency across different processes was particularly frustrating. 

“You’d submit all these documents and they’d come back with questions and rejections,” said Josette.

The couple found that sometimes they would submit information at the same time, but receive two different outcomes, such as with their driving licence swap.

“Charles got his right away and mine came back saying the file was incomplete. I submitted the same documents again and it came through,” said Josette. 

When applying for health insurance, Josette sent her marriage certificate, which included her confirmation name, as well as her first name.

“That sent everybody into a spin because my confirmation name wasn’t my first name,” she said.

This “new name” led to a delay of 10 to 12 weeks, despite Josette explaining this was not her first name. 

“French administration is not for the faint-hearted,” she said. 

Uncertainty 

Another emotional hurdle in starting a new life abroad is the fact that you are, in some ways, leaping into the unknown. 

“One of the emotions you experience is uncertainty about what is going to happen, and not always seeing the path forward,” said Charles. 

The couple dealt with that sense of uncertainty by taking a practical approach. 

“You learn to problem solve,” said Charles.

“You’re in a new place, you’ve got to figure out where everything is. How do you get this accomplished? How do you work within the system here?” he said. 

“I was very frustrated one day when a store closed at midday for lunch. But after a few times you go: ‘Okay, I get it now.’

“You plan your life differently so you adapt, and you figure out how to make all these things happen.” 

Language

While Josette was comfortable speaking French, moving to France meant Charles had to learn a new language.

“I had done some app studying, and I’d spoken another foreign language when I was younger, but when you’re 66, it’s not as easy as when you’re 16,” he said.

“Josette is fairly fluent, whereas I speak like a five-year-old. So I had the language barrier to overcome and there were times when that was a little frustrating for me,” said Charles. 

Fully immersing himself in French “has been the best thing so far”.

Even for Josette, there was new vocabulary she had to get her head around. 

“I didn’t have the technical language to set up our plumbing, water or electricity contracts, and you wouldn’t learn that in school. So that is one thing I have reached out to people for help with.”

Pressure 

Being the one who spoke French, Josette found herself taking more of a lead in practical and administrative tasks. 

“After a while, everything was coming to me. There were some days when I thought my head was going to explode. It was just so much; it was so intense, with everything falling on me,” she said. 

How did she cope with the pressure?

“You have to keep your eye on the long term goal. You have to say: ‘Okay, why am I here? I’m here for the beautiful view from my terrace and the wonderful lifestyle I’m eventually going to have. Meanwhile, I have to problem-solve and get through this.’”