Do I have the right to see my grandchildren in France after a big family row?

Reader question: My daughter and son-in-law live around 20 minutes away from me in France, but following a big family row visits have stopped and they told us not to contact them anymore. We still want to see our grandchildren. Do we have a legal right to see them? 

Grandparents do have a legal right to see their grandchildren, but this is not unconditional. 

Article 371-4 of France’s civil code states that a child “has the right to maintain personal relations with their parents and (great) grandparents. Only the child's best interests may prevent the exercise of this right.” 

The child’s ‘best interests’ however are not decided by the family but a family judge (juge aux affaires familiales). 

They can determine a grandparent’s right to see their grandchild, as well the schedule for visits to take place. 

Judges are in general liable to find that a given adult, related or not, should be able to see a child if they have “lived on a stable basis with the child and one of the parents, have contributed to the child's upbringing, maintenance, or establishment in life, and have formed lasting emotional bonds with the child,” the civil code adds. 

A 1982 case in France’s highest  appeal court, the Cour de cassation, ruled that “it is in the children's best interests to maintain personal relationships with their grandparents, unless serious grounds justify otherwise.”

“A conflict, even a long-standing one, between parents and grandparents does not automatically justify refusing contact.

"The conflict must be such as to impact the child, have harmful consequences for their psychological and emotional well-being, or prevent the possibility of a healthy relationship,” according to government information website Service-Public.

Having said this, the Cour de cassation has on occasion found that a dispute was so virulent that it was not possible for court-ordered visits to be organised in a way consistent with the child’s wellbeing due to this. 

The child themselves is sometimes asked by the judge or another intermediary to explain their views and feelings, if relevant, depending on their age and maturity.

Your first step should be to attempt to resolve the issue amicably with your daughter and son-in-law through family mediation (médiateur familial). 

You can find a nearby mediator using the link here – note it must be a special médiateur familial and not a general mediator. 

It is only if this fails that you can then take the matter to a family judge, via the tribunal judiciaire closest to where your grandchild lives. 

It is advisable for you to obtain representation from an avocat, but legal aid may be available.