I should not have to explain my country’s actions to people in France

Dear Cynth

I am fed up with having to be responsible for and explain my native country’s decisions to people in France. As a US expatriate, all my conversations at the moment seem to be about Donald Trump. Britons must feel the same about Brexit. It is boring and tiring. How can I avoid it? 

E.C.

When Brexit occurred, every time we came to France we were besieged by people asking us how we felt about it. It did not matter where we were. Even if we were lying on the beach in Nice, our eyes closed – if anybody heard us speak English, they would pester us about our points of view. And yes, this was very boring and tiring! 

There are several ways you can deal with this. We recently came across a couple of US tourists from Texas who were holidaying in France wearing badges. One said, in French: ‘We didn’t vote for Trump.’ 

His wife’s badge depicted the Statue of Liberty with her head in her hands and the words: “I’m with her.” The badges, they hoped, would preempt questions about their political allegiance and allow them to enjoy their holiday in relative peace.

 Read more: 'I fear France may not welcome Americans due to anti-Trump sentiment'

You could choose to say your piece about Trump and then move on. However, some people are very persistent and even insensitive. Remember that you are not responsible for where you come from, nor for the decisions of the American electorate. 

Secondly, your opinion is yours and it is private. If you choose to share it with others, so be it, but you are not a governmental mouthpiece. 

Another tactic is to try to steer the conversation onto something more appealing and interesting. You could point out that talking in circles about Trump is not going to solve anything. 

Every country has its issues with politicians. If people still do not take a very loud hint, you can simply say that you do not wish to discuss it, or that you have no interest in politics. 

Unfortunately, some people thoroughly love instigating difficult conversations. It is as if they become empowered by causing trouble. You do not need to hang out with the “moan and groan society”. It is so negative and a waste of your precious energy. 

There comes a time when you have to be blunt. You could remind the company you are in of the old saying: ‘Never discuss sex, religion or politics.’ Such conversations can become very heated and rarely end well.

Do you have a problem associated with living in France that is causing upset or worry?

Our advice column can help. Write to: askcynth@connexionfrance.com.

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