'I don't want my sister to move to my French town'
Columnist Cynthia Spillman offers advice to a reader who is worried her sister may disrupt her dream life in France
Check to see how realistic your sister is about life in France
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Dear Cynth,
We moved to Dordogne from Scotland six years ago.
In this time, we have encouraged family and friends to visit and they have fallen in love with the area too. So much, in fact, that my sister is now thinking of moving to the same town.
Much as I love her, I am not sure I want her on my doorstep and am annoyed she seems to be 'copying' our dream. How can I dissuade her?
BD
This is a tricky one! I was brought up in Scotland and now live in Provence, and I, too, have a sister who would like to move here!
The obvious thing would be to have an honest conversation with your sister and express your concerns. However, I am fully aware of how family dynamics can be, and any reluctance you may have to do this, for fear of the fall-out.
Too much proximity is never a good thing.
I also faced this situation in our village in Herefordshire when my daughter and her family wanted to live in the same village as us. It made me twitchy and, in the end, they bought in another village five minutes away by car – and that is close enough!
Perhaps you could suggest that she rents something before deciding to buy in the same town.
It is one thing visiting but it is another experience altogether living there permanently. Has she really done her homework and worked out all the pros and cons of making this major move?
Ask her how she would spend her time if she did move and explain nicely that you have a very busy life so she would have to make a completely new life for herself as she would not be able to rely on you.
Does she speak French? That could be another hindrance. Has she any realistic knowledge of what property prices are?
Read more: 'We're fed up of visitors staying too long at our home in France'
Also, there is a whole bureaucratic side to moving to France which she may not have taken into consideration.
Does she have friends in your town? Can she reasonably afford to keep coming to France to look at properties? You could impress on her the negatives of living in France. It is not all roses round the front door.
Finally, presumably she would ask you to scout for property – and if that is the case, then you could “caw canny” as we say in Scotland, and scout everywhere but in your town! Bon courage!
Do you have a problem associated with living in France that is causing upset or worry? Our advice column can help. Write to: askcynth@connexionfrance.com.
Any letters selected for publication will be anonymised. Cynthia will endeavour to reply to all emails.
